That’s a lot of verbiage and I still don’t know what you’re talking about. Just give a list of example topics that are ok, and ones that are not ok

Off limits topics for dadjokes?

Nothing. It’s dadjokes. Some dads are more crass.

Ban people being racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and otherwise bigoted. But besides people being shitty, stop promoting puritan ideals and values, they don’t work and are extremely counterproductive and damaging.

The issue here is that by you removing the joke in question, you yourself have done something bigoted. The same as a police officer breaking the law and hurting somebody. YOU have fucked up.<<<<<

If gayness is against the rules, straightness needs to be too. Just shut the whole thing down.

If we can’t mention gay marriage, then we must also not speak of straight marriage. If we can’t mention same sex relationships, then we must also forbid references to other relationships as well.

Are we really worried that five-year-olds are lurking here? Anyone who makes it this far is old enough to handle mentions of gay/straight/bi/poly relationships. Let’s just be pragmatic and draw the line at truly graphic references like any other joke community might.

was basing my moderating on what was being reported and sex being a topic as understood for children closer to puberty

I think you may have some misconceptions about the physical and mental development children.

Most children begin puberty around 8-9 years old… If you are cutting dad jokes down to topics appropriate for prepubescent children that leaves out the vast majority of the time people raising their kids.

Children are born loving their parents, and should figure out pretty quickly that their parents love each other (sometimes even if they don’t). Understanding the gist of marriage should therefore come pretty naturally to children, whether gay or straight. If they’re perceiving straight marriage as normal and gay marriage as odd, then that’s something they’ve been taught rather than their natural state that needs protecting and preserving until they’re older.

I just want to throw out as the child of a lesbian couple that I disagree that talking about gay marriage is something that needs to wait until puberty. It certainly didn’t take that long for the other kids at school to notice I had two moms.

There are even kids books for explaining it, when I was a kid I had Daddy’s Roommate and Heather Has Two Mommies just as a for instance.

It’s a Dad Joke community, it should be oriented toward corny jokes and groan-worthy puns, that only a Dad would love. Don’t tell “Dirty Jokes” here. We know what they are. (didn’t someone make an “uncle jokes” community for those?)

Having said that, simply noticing that gay and bi people exist (and can also tell dad jokes) in no way qualifies as a “dirty joke”. I mean, we talk with kids about people with boyfriends and girlfriends all the time, and tell corny jokes about them, without getting all ooky. Pointing out a couple with two boyfriends isnt any different.

I saw that joke and it made me chuckle, if I were mod here I would have left it alone.

1st off, kudos for taking the feedback and criticism in a constructive manner, instead of getting defensive! Something we see way too little of.

Tell me what you think should and should not be included as “off limits topics.”

Lemmy is almost entirely adults. Given our content, I doubt we have any prepubescent kids in our audience. I see no reason for content filters beyond what is required by basic decency and common sense. Beyond that, as long as it fulfils the basic criteria of being a dad joke (groan inducing), let it stand or die on its up (and down) votes.

Dad jokes are jokes by dads to make their kids cringe. Not to overstep boundaries. And there nothing wrong with LGBTQ+ themed jokes.

You don’t have to remove everything that doesn’t exactly fit. Just let the post be if it’s in the gray area

I have recently received some feedback about including sexuality as a topic for dad jokes

Hi, that was me 👋🏼

Although it was not the most constructive of feedback

Sorry about that. Usually my first instinct with a removal I consider unreasonable and where I know who did it is to state my case for reinstatement as calmly and politely as I can in a direct message.

I have been rebuffed in doing so before, though, (sometimes angrily to the point of being punished for respectfully disagreeing with a moderation decision) and I guess I let bad experiences with less reasonable mods influence my reaction to the point where I assumed the worst, which wasn’t really fair towards you. My apologies.

sex as a topic is not the same as sexuality

True.

I was basing my moderating on what was being reported

While in essence that’s a good way to do it, sometimes that can be a form of peer pressure from people trying to enforce their opinion rather than the broader community making itself heard.

I’m sure you know that, though, since you didn’t start moderating recently and sound reasonable, so this is more of a reminder for others in the discussion and no condescension or lecturing you about your “job” is intended.

sex being a topic as understood for children closer to puberty, although sexuality such as LGBTQ+ parents/partners/people can be understood much earlier.

This is where your otherwise reasonable argument falls apart, though, as the specific post you removed was clearly the latter and thus within the scope of this community rather than [email protected] or similar.

While I stand by still keeping actual sexual themes (anatomy, sex positions, etc.) as an off-limits topic for the community

Personally I disagree on that, but it’s not as important to me as it seems to be to the seeming consensus that agrees, so no worries 🙂

This community is not static; I want to do my best to maintain a place that can grow with the community while staying true as a place for humor in a world that has plenty of unpleasant things. I am not a bot, and am indeed a person that is open to having respectful discussions

This is pretty much the perfect attitude to have as the sole mod of a community like this one IMO, good on you!

Should profanity be allowed

I’m personally a big fan of profanity used well, but I can see how overuse or misuse could be unfortunate in this particular genre of humor, so I’d consider limiting it justified for once.

After all, as someone else hinted at, avoiding “bad” words in front of the child is very much part of how literal dads typically talk, so cursing up a storm would be incongruous heh

I’m still against a total profanity ban, but having common sense “don’t make the joke ABOUT profanity and prurient subject matter” and/or “don’t use it so much that the joke no longer fits the theme” limitations seems reasonable to me.

I will try to look at the common themes from any feedback and apply them over the next two weeks or so.

Thanks for being fair and reasonable about it and once again sorry for assuming that you wouldn’t!

Dads can have children of all ages, even adult children. I see dad jokes as something that produces a groan but also a chuckle, heavily reliant on puns and broken expectations, not something that is directed at little children, but maybe not raunchy for the sake of shock value. That would be an uncle joke.

I’m happy to see profanity, sex as a topic, etc included.

Thanks for re-evaluating your decision.

A joke acknowledging the existence of gay and bi people is not “unclean” or somehow unreasonable to tell in the company of people of any age. That joke made in the style of “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad!” absolutely belongs in the Dad Jokes community.

Removed by mod