I considered killing myself last night. I self-harmed for the first time in many years. My company advertised remote work. I asked if I could move far away from Tokyo and sure, no problem. I got told if RTO, then it would be close and new people only. I got permission to run a side job doing a small farm. Sure no problem.
I’ve been in this industry for 20+ years now.
Mandatory return to office (I live 4 hours each way). They pay transportation expenses per month at a level that wouldn’t cover one day. If you’re nice and apply, we MAY approve (for three months only) 2 days a week required in the office. No guarantee it will be approved. I joined a union to fight this but it’s slow. They will likely still try to fire me.
I have a mortgage. I got a subsidy to move to this small town, that many in Japan provide, but it must be paid back if leaving within 5 years. I also am a registered farmer with farm land which means I legally have to maintain it properly.
Yesterday, they said no more side job is allowed. So I’m not allowed to sell anything I grow anymore, have to close my self-proprietorship, and have to close my company (which has tax impacts on me because now nothing counts as expenses and I lose my ability to do special tax forms). They apparently want food to rot. They want me to rot. The farm was not even yet at a point to make me money. They falsely claimed I got subsidies for farming (I did not and do not) and that it’s no longer just selling extra produce (it still is) and is a full-scale farming operation (it is not). My sales were like 10k yen last year and maybe will get to that this year.
My wife does not work. There are few jobs out here. No remote jobs in the US or Canada are responding and few would even allow Japan time zone even with overlap. Remote jobs for a backend engineer (primarily golang lately with very rusty Java somewhere in my brain unused for many years) are basically non-existent. I’ve applied for jobs in the EEA but, as a non-EEA-citizen, I can basically go fuck myself. My body is way too messed up (multiple broken bones, back issues, etc.) for any really hard manual labor.
So I lose my job, I lose my income, I lose the house, I will never get another mortgage in Japan again, there’s no point to being alive. My wife’s birthday is coming up, which is basically what stopped me. She’ll have a better life without me and at least the house will get paid off so she can do whatever with it.
Living in an apartment in Tokyo would also violate the terms of my mortgage making me lose it (on top of losing a huge chunk of my paycheck) and would also make it impossible to keep up with farm maintenance, let alone the rest of the house and property.
I am fine for now. Just not sure I’ll survive any future attacks from my company. Thanks for the kind words.
Lawyer up. Meanwhile, just keep doing what you’re doing. I refuse to believe living on a farm counts as a side job, especially since it’s not for meaningful profit, especially since it’s not the same line of work.
Wow, I’m so angry for you. But your wife would not be happy to lose you, so don’t tell yourself you’d be doing her a favor by dying.
It sounds like you’re in an impossible situation, and it truly is a bind, but have you explored whether you have any legal recourse? Your company set you up to fail by making promises they didn’t keep. Do you have those promises in writing? Emails, texts, contract terms, anything?
Is your wife Japanese? If so, she can help you communicate with a lawyer. I know Japanese law is very neoliberal and pro-corporation, but this seems like exceptional circumstances so it would be worth at least looking into.
In any case, breathe. Whatever comes, you still need oxygen.
I’m sorry for your situation. Other comments have pointed out that legally you don’t have to comply with the “no side job” bs, so i agree to keep proceeding with it, and if they try to fire you, bring in the lawyers.
On another note, stories like yours are why I want to watch the entire system burn, using executives as fuel for the fire.
Better to resist and flip the bird to these asshats rather than comply in advance.
Good luck to you, keep fighting, and never give up, if only to spite the bastards
I wish I could help more, but the old “side jobs are forbidden” being in the company handbook is legally flimsy, if not completely unenforceable. Just because your company says so, or it’s in your contact doesn’t actually make it legal.
The MHLW states that it actually has to provably interfere with your job in some way. The hours outside your day job are your own, not your companies. Don’t close your kojinjigyo and just submit your own tax adjustment every year. Unless you’re making lots of money your HR won’t even know.
People have already given you good advice, so I’ll give you a less than stellar advice: don’t become statistics, every year lots of people kill themselves due to their work or die of overworking in Japan and nobody gives a fuck. You’re not the wrong person here, so why would you suffer by yourself? If you’re fucked either way and has nothing else to lose, do something real about it. I saw your comments about getting sued, does it matter? Bro, you were considering taking your own life, justice matters more. If you think you still have shit to lose, then don’t even entertain taking your own life.
With your backend skills in golang, is there any business you can start on your own? Do you guys have savings that would allow you to live for a while without your main work? Don’t give up, bro. As long as there’s still some alternatives, keep going. And, please, if you and your wife truly do love each other, go talk to her about this.
I’m nobody in your story, but you’re now somebody in mine, because this is so relatable. I can only commiserate with you, but I can’t fully understand the stress you must be under. My employer is doing much the same, and it breaks my heart how many people around the world are or are about to be in similar situations.
The crushing weight of executives not giving a fuck about the harm they are causing is both enraging and deeply saddening.
But what makes life worth living is a moving target. I have, a few times, seen no light in the dark. But then, somehow I crawl back out and see all the reasons I still want to be here. I hope you find a way to okay. If nothing else, “I want to watch it all go down. I want to see the world give way.”
I’m very sorry for your situation. Please do not let these fuckers decide what you are worth, and leash you.
Your wife loves you, and you are more important to everyone around you than to your company. Live for your love, and your friends. Even if your life has to change a little, that’s not the end.
make your way out of that company painful. Point fingers, humiliate them, politely. Call the media, do the drama, make them feel ashamed.
Best of luck, do not quit life, you are bigger than them.
And I assume that you (and many others) were being lied to about this RTO policy, so you’ll most likely have public sympathy on your side.
Also, you can start a GoFundMe (or similar) to support you in your Situation. Be vulnerable, let the communuty pick you up. And when you’re up again, pay the compassion forward.
Contact some social media ppl (like https://m.youtube.com/@AbroadinJapan) and publicly shame your company, they broke their agreements. They lied. It’s not you that is at fault, so it’s not you that should suffer.
Can lawyer do nothing for you? Or some sort of NGO?
Can you do hidden audio recordings in Japan? Record them admitting that they promised one thing and are doing another. Take the recordings to a lawyer.
I am sorry for your situation. Since you entertained the idea of killing yourself, I strongly believe you should consult an expert or a doctor. As others mentioned: The people around love you and do care about you.
you fell for the “move to the countryside” incentive. they give you money to move in the middle of nowhere, then you pay for that circumstance for the rest of your life with poor transportation, no jobs, expensive maintenance etc.
also you went into farming while also having severe physical health issues?? really?
I considered killing myself last night. I self-harmed for the first time in many years. My company advertised remote work. I asked if I could move far away from Tokyo and sure, no problem. I got told if RTO, then it would be close and new people only. I got permission to run a side job doing a small farm. Sure no problem.
I’ve been in this industry for 20+ years now.
Mandatory return to office (I live 4 hours each way). They pay transportation expenses per month at a level that wouldn’t cover one day. If you’re nice and apply, we MAY approve (for three months only) 2 days a week required in the office. No guarantee it will be approved. I joined a union to fight this but it’s slow. They will likely still try to fire me.
I have a mortgage. I got a subsidy to move to this small town, that many in Japan provide, but it must be paid back if leaving within 5 years. I also am a registered farmer with farm land which means I legally have to maintain it properly.
Yesterday, they said no more side job is allowed. So I’m not allowed to sell anything I grow anymore, have to close my self-proprietorship, and have to close my company (which has tax impacts on me because now nothing counts as expenses and I lose my ability to do special tax forms). They apparently want food to rot. They want me to rot. The farm was not even yet at a point to make me money. They falsely claimed I got subsidies for farming (I did not and do not) and that it’s no longer just selling extra produce (it still is) and is a full-scale farming operation (it is not). My sales were like 10k yen last year and maybe will get to that this year.
My wife does not work. There are few jobs out here. No remote jobs in the US or Canada are responding and few would even allow Japan time zone even with overlap. Remote jobs for a backend engineer (primarily golang lately with very rusty Java somewhere in my brain unused for many years) are basically non-existent. I’ve applied for jobs in the EEA but, as a non-EEA-citizen, I can basically go fuck myself. My body is way too messed up (multiple broken bones, back issues, etc.) for any really hard manual labor.
So I lose my job, I lose my income, I lose the house, I will never get another mortgage in Japan again, there’s no point to being alive. My wife’s birthday is coming up, which is basically what stopped me. She’ll have a better life without me and at least the house will get paid off so she can do whatever with it.
Living in an apartment in Tokyo would also violate the terms of my mortgage making me lose it (on top of losing a huge chunk of my paycheck) and would also make it impossible to keep up with farm maintenance, let alone the rest of the house and property.
I am fine for now. Just not sure I’ll survive any future attacks from my company. Thanks for the kind words.
Lawyer up. Meanwhile, just keep doing what you’re doing. I refuse to believe living on a farm counts as a side job, especially since it’s not for meaningful profit, especially since it’s not the same line of work.
Wow, I’m so angry for you. But your wife would not be happy to lose you, so don’t tell yourself you’d be doing her a favor by dying.
It sounds like you’re in an impossible situation, and it truly is a bind, but have you explored whether you have any legal recourse? Your company set you up to fail by making promises they didn’t keep. Do you have those promises in writing? Emails, texts, contract terms, anything?
Is your wife Japanese? If so, she can help you communicate with a lawyer. I know Japanese law is very neoliberal and pro-corporation, but this seems like exceptional circumstances so it would be worth at least looking into.
In any case, breathe. Whatever comes, you still need oxygen.
I’m sorry for your situation. Other comments have pointed out that legally you don’t have to comply with the “no side job” bs, so i agree to keep proceeding with it, and if they try to fire you, bring in the lawyers.
On another note, stories like yours are why I want to watch the entire system burn, using executives as fuel for the fire.
Better to resist and flip the bird to these asshats rather than comply in advance.
Good luck to you, keep fighting, and never give up, if only to spite the bastards
I wish I could help more, but the old “side jobs are forbidden” being in the company handbook is legally flimsy, if not completely unenforceable. Just because your company says so, or it’s in your contact doesn’t actually make it legal.
The MHLW states that it actually has to provably interfere with your job in some way. The hours outside your day job are your own, not your companies. Don’t close your kojinjigyo and just submit your own tax adjustment every year. Unless you’re making lots of money your HR won’t even know.
People have already given you good advice, so I’ll give you a less than stellar advice: don’t become statistics, every year lots of people kill themselves due to their work or die of overworking in Japan and nobody gives a fuck. You’re not the wrong person here, so why would you suffer by yourself? If you’re fucked either way and has nothing else to lose, do something real about it. I saw your comments about getting sued, does it matter? Bro, you were considering taking your own life, justice matters more. If you think you still have shit to lose, then don’t even entertain taking your own life.
With your backend skills in golang, is there any business you can start on your own? Do you guys have savings that would allow you to live for a while without your main work? Don’t give up, bro. As long as there’s still some alternatives, keep going. And, please, if you and your wife truly do love each other, go talk to her about this.
I’m nobody in your story, but you’re now somebody in mine, because this is so relatable. I can only commiserate with you, but I can’t fully understand the stress you must be under. My employer is doing much the same, and it breaks my heart how many people around the world are or are about to be in similar situations.
The crushing weight of executives not giving a fuck about the harm they are causing is both enraging and deeply saddening.
But what makes life worth living is a moving target. I have, a few times, seen no light in the dark. But then, somehow I crawl back out and see all the reasons I still want to be here. I hope you find a way to okay. If nothing else, “I want to watch it all go down. I want to see the world give way.”
I’m very sorry for your situation. Please do not let these fuckers decide what you are worth, and leash you.
Your wife loves you, and you are more important to everyone around you than to your company. Live for your love, and your friends. Even if your life has to change a little, that’s not the end.
make your way out of that company painful. Point fingers, humiliate them, politely. Call the media, do the drama, make them feel ashamed.
Best of luck, do not quit life, you are bigger than them.
Even saying 100% true things, this gets you sued in Japan. This is specifically why I don’t name the company.
If you will be fucked either way… Create a trail, try the good path first. Humanize, try sympathy.
If they don’t care, threat media exposure, Japanese are really prideful and that hurts them the most
And I assume that you (and many others) were being lied to about this RTO policy, so you’ll most likely have public sympathy on your side. Also, you can start a GoFundMe (or similar) to support you in your Situation. Be vulnerable, let the communuty pick you up. And when you’re up again, pay the compassion forward.
Contact some social media ppl (like https://m.youtube.com/@AbroadinJapan) and publicly shame your company, they broke their agreements. They lied. It’s not you that is at fault, so it’s not you that should suffer.
My family gets sued. AboardInJapan would also get sued which is why no news orgs ever pick this stuff up.
Can lawyer do nothing for you? Or some sort of NGO?
Can you do hidden audio recordings in Japan? Record them admitting that they promised one thing and are doing another. Take the recordings to a lawyer.
I’m sorry, I wish I had some smarter ideas.
Why do you get sued when they are breaching contract? What can their allegations against you possibly be?
Japanese reputational damage laws. You can get sued even when what you are saying is 100% true
Well that is 100 % fucked, wtaf
deleted by creator
I am sorry for your situation. Since you entertained the idea of killing yourself, I strongly believe you should consult an expert or a doctor. As others mentioned: The people around love you and do care about you.
you fell for the “move to the countryside” incentive. they give you money to move in the middle of nowhere, then you pay for that circumstance for the rest of your life with poor transportation, no jobs, expensive maintenance etc.
also you went into farming while also having severe physical health issues?? really?
Farming is a hobby. A lot of it is done on tractor or seated in the dirt.
I was also tired of the constant noise and business of Tokyo. Don’t really have expensive maintenance.