If we all agreed to this when google was handing out invite only keys to gmail, then maybe we could’ve made a difference

You can learn to make that beep with your mouth and then beep when you sneeze or are in pain

No it’s a calling

I prefer to call him Elmo Musk but Elon Muppet is pretty good too.

No, you’re cooked. Tonight at 10 there will be two ogres in linux t-shirts at your door. They’ll escort you to the lemmy dungeon where you’ll spend the rest of your life.

Unless Die Hard (2027) is a documentary about Bruce Willis, then I’m not interested

Obviously the woman has cancer and has only a week to live, but the husband is a world class esports athlete and he promised an entire ward of kids with cancer that he’d win the championship.

But the husband has cancer too and this is the last time that he can play before his eyes need to be surgically removed. But he doesn’t know that his wife made a deal with the devil, if she can get the husband to stop playing games then Satan will erase cancer from the world and the entire ward of children will be instantly healed.

But if her husband finds out about this deal he will instantly kill everyone. This is a very complex situation.

I can’t make a gallon of gas myself

Come to my house and watch me compress algae and phytoplankton and turn it into fossil fuels over millions of years.