Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Political Memes@lemmy.world · 2 days agoMost Dangerous Jobslemmy.dbzer0.comimagemessage-square96linkfedilinkarrow-up1446arrow-down110file-text
arrow-up1436arrow-down1imageMost Dangerous Jobslemmy.dbzer0.comViking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Political Memes@lemmy.world · 2 days agomessage-square96linkfedilinkfile-text
minus-squareraspberriesareyummy@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up3arrow-down1·1 day agoless pronouns, more well-defined references please. I had to read that last paragraph three times before I understood who you meant by “They”.
minus-squareKatana314@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up5·1 day agoThanks for the feedback. Been working on creative writing recently, and it helps to know when my attempts at brevity are making things unclear.
minus-squareraspberriesareyummy@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up3·1 day agoYou’re welcome, “the assailant” is much more clear now :) (I mean - as clear as it could be)
less pronouns, more well-defined references please. I had to read that last paragraph three times before I understood who you meant by “They”.
Thanks for the feedback. Been working on creative writing recently, and it helps to know when my attempts at brevity are making things unclear.
You’re welcome, “the assailant” is much more clear now :) (I mean - as clear as it could be)