“Siri, play the world’s smallest violin.”

“Okay. Searching Pornhub for ‘ball violence’ videos.”

“…forget it.”

“Everyone knows you can’t learn math unless you have an abacus!”

I know this is an exaggeration for emphasis… but people who learn the abacus method are faster and more accurate at basic addition.

The more I read about Meta, the more convinced I am the Epstein files contain video of an expressionless Zuck explaining to a woman that unless she chooses one of her children to die, they both do.

You’d think the cocaine-snorting classes would understand that only the first hit’s free.