😒🫸 “Any hole’s a goal.” 😎👉 “Every hole’s the goal.”
- Zeus
Everyone talks about the times Zeus seduced women as an animal, but no one remembers him seducing animals
Inaccurate not just mortals but everyone and everything.
I remember reading once about how Zeus once fucked a lake. There was spirited debate in the comments over whether it was the personified lake as a nymph or something, or if he just jumped in the water and started thrusting. I feel team water humping had some good arguments.
Could Zeus have children with anything? And how did he fuck squirrels? Did he have a small pecker?
He was a god, of course his pecker was small, as was the style at the time
Hung like a god then
People forget that the old gods did evolve in how they were envisioned and that there was never a clear answer to what exactly the portfolio of a god was. The Greek Gods were never as “well defined” as we envision them today. Belief was always a cryptic and very individualized thing before churches that were bigger, more hierarchical and more encompassing than entire nations got to define how a god aught to be seen.
For this it is important to know that Zeus, also carries facets of a fertility god, a great procreator, from whose loins sprang the other gods and many a mortal hero. It is his literary role as the father god to father heroes and adventurers, as the male part of the Zeus-Hera parent-godhood to embody masculinity, as a ruler god to subjugate and conquer.
Zeus is not a real thing with discernible attributes, like all gods, he is a story that changes with the needs and wants of the narrator and listeners.
To quote the latest episode of Lanterns: it’s less about preference and more about opportunity
And when youre omnipresent and omniscient, there is nothing but opportunity.
Don’t forget the literal golden shower.
