In my experience, even when I’ve framed it as “something needs to change” to try to be less direct in saying that they need to change, they still just say “correct, you do need to change.” Hopefully some people will get it, though.
A few years ago, my dad was upset about how “you can’t say man or woman anymore. How are you gonna call the cops on someone robbing you? Say ‘It was a person average height!’ Or they’ll arrest you for using the word man!”
I just asked if he was fucking stupid and does that sound like something that would even remotely happen, then said I was leaving if that’s how he thinks and left. Ignored any attempts at contact until he apologized and admitted he might be a little incorrect, which was progress enough to start.
Lmao that’s the hardest thing is realizing that there’s no magic words that will ever pierce their skull. They keep acting like you speak a foreign language because it’s easier to fake “not getting it” rather than come out and say the truth which is “I don’t value you enough to change my behavior”.
“You’re putting it all in me, but you had a hand in this, too.” Yeah, no, I never said I blamed her for <incident that broke the camel’s back>, just that it was a really bad experience and one I didn’t want to repeat.
And ignoring the fact that they worship a man who is famous for never taking responsibility for anything, and that is exactly part if the problem in the first place.
In my experience, even when I’ve framed it as “something needs to change” to try to be less direct in saying that they need to change, they still just say “correct, you do need to change.” Hopefully some people will get it, though.
A few years ago, my dad was upset about how “you can’t say man or woman anymore. How are you gonna call the cops on someone robbing you? Say ‘It was a person average height!’ Or they’ll arrest you for using the word man!”
I just asked if he was fucking stupid and does that sound like something that would even remotely happen, then said I was leaving if that’s how he thinks and left. Ignored any attempts at contact until he apologized and admitted he might be a little incorrect, which was progress enough to start.
Lmao that’s the hardest thing is realizing that there’s no magic words that will ever pierce their skull. They keep acting like you speak a foreign language because it’s easier to fake “not getting it” rather than come out and say the truth which is “I don’t value you enough to change my behavior”.
Once I gave up and quit my life got a lot easier.
Do they ever hit you with this one?
“Take responsibility for your actions/decisions!” While ignoring their own responsibility in it…
“You’re putting it all in me, but you had a hand in this, too.” Yeah, no, I never said I blamed her for <incident that broke the camel’s back>, just that it was a really bad experience and one I didn’t want to repeat.
And ignoring the fact that they worship a man who is famous for never taking responsibility for anything, and that is exactly part if the problem in the first place.