We need to ban teenagers from social media not for their safety, but because they’re fucking annoying.
That’s why we send them to school all day and on field trips, and to summer camp. And why nobody ever dreams of going to high school again. And why teachers are constantly wanting more and more money. And why we call teachers heroes. Because you are heroes for putting up with teenagers all day.
However, age verification destroys the Internet. That’s why parental controls were invented thirty years ago.
If the government really wants to get kids off the Internet, they have to make parental controls mandatory. And if parents refuse to use them, a death squad is sent to their house, and a bullet is put in the back of the head of the parents.
If that happens then social media will cure cancer and solve world hunger and end all wars. We were almost there before smartphones came along and parents started dropping their kids off here expecting us to babysit them for fucking free.
We need to ban teenagers from social media not for their safety, but because they’re fucking annoying.
That’s why we send them to school all day and on field trips, and to summer camp. And why nobody ever dreams of going to high school again. And why teachers are constantly wanting more and more money. And why we call teachers heroes. Because you are heroes for putting up with teenagers all day.
However, age verification destroys the Internet. That’s why parental controls were invented thirty years ago.
If the government really wants to get kids off the Internet, they have to make parental controls mandatory. And if parents refuse to use them, a death squad is sent to their house, and a bullet is put in the back of the head of the parents.
If that happens then social media will cure cancer and solve world hunger and end all wars. We were almost there before smartphones came along and parents started dropping their kids off here expecting us to babysit them for fucking free.